The Sad, The Glad, The Truth and The Cold Hard Facts of Becoming an Adult.

     This past weekend, for the very first time in my life, I felt that I had become an adult. I had never felt that before and at first, all I could think was "How do I make it stop?".


The Sad    

    For the first time in my life, I was sitting in a church, at the funeral of one of my closest friends and was experiencing true pain and loss. I had never pictured myself feeling the pain of losing a friend until my senior years, where it becomes the natural course of life. But there I was, 21 years old, at a funeral, sitting in a pew with 8 of my other best friends, all mourning the loss of our classmate. How was this possible? I felt, suddenly, all the responsibility in the world to be strong; if not for me, for my friends. I was thinking of them, putting them first in my mind. But that wasn't it.

The Glad

     Later that day, on my way home, I was letting it all sink in that we had become adults. I was listening to my classmate tell me about her job, her boyfriend of two years and their plans for a new home together. I realized, at that moment, that I had plans. I was one year away from finishing a bachelors degree with plans for a masters and PhD, was finally in a relationship that made me feel so happy and so strongly and so confidently in myself, I had goals, responsibilities, bills, a future.. I was an adult. It was one of the scariest feelings in the world at first, until I realized that I could laugh at it and accept it.

The Truth

       A few hours later, that's exactly what I did. My friends and I had all made our way to our town's "Exhibition". As teenagers, this was the biggest event of the summer. We decided to relive those days and go. Upon getting there, everyone decided that we were just too old to be getting tickets and going on rides. Everyone except for my friend Catherine and I (I think it's clear that I was not the only one feeling old and afraid). It wasn't even 30 seconds after sitting on the ride that we had our first grown up moment. A little girl in the seat ahead of us told her friend "Can you believe it?! My mom was just in my room. She doesn't care about my privacy.". Catherine and I looked at each other and a rant was just rumbling in my head; "Young girl, your mother loved you, raised you, gave you food and finally, she gave you that bedroom. The least you can do is be kind and full of love towards her. You are her flesh and blood. If she is snooping, that means that you don't spend enough time with her, sharing what you feel, think and live." and it hit me again.. I'm siding with the parents. I've become an adult. It got worse. As the ride started, I slid over to the side as I spun around in circles, only to hear my back crack. I couldn't help but laugh as in 24 hours, all of these things were making me feel like I had aged 20 years overnight. As if that weren't enough, I ran into two beautiful girls who I used to babysit when they were just toddlers. Now, they were taller than me and just "hanging out at the Ex." like I had done (it seems) only a few years ago! I just couldn't believe it. So we headed home, all feeling a bit defeated, sat around a table and drank wine and champagne. This already was a great sign of having grown up, because our group of 10 amazing and kind-hearted graduate class had never been able to sit all together and not have a single fight about gossip or about the past. Naturally however, to keep up with the theme of the day, we all called it quits around 9pm because we were too tired to go on. We were grown ups and there was no more denying it.

The Cold Hard Facts 

     The final fact of the matter is, I am an adult now. I do have responsibilities, a future to think of, growing up with my own home, a husband, children and maybe a dog or five running around the house, on my mind, but it doesn't mean that I feel like I'm rushed. After having let everything settle in and once I no longer feared this new overwhelming feeling and I realized that not a single thing had really changed; I had just only realized that I had grown to be a woman and that it was bound to happen one day. Funny enough, I realized that my list of things to do this week is about the same as it was when I was five years old, wearing glitter shoes and a pretty dress. Some things never do change.

To Do This Week 

 Love endlessly 

Dance  

Color outside the lines 

Eat some Ice Cream 

Laugh 

Be brave

Later Days,

Ally